I cannot believe I ate a cupcake today. It was a teeny tiny one, less than one inch in height, the frosting not included. I had that terrible sugar craving that hits me two maybe three times a year and headed over to Auntie Em’s where a devilishly red mini cupcake sweetly wooded me into eating it. I obeyed. Just like that. Stunning!
Fact is, I am the ultimate cupcake hater. I probably will never be able to understand the whole cupcake craze. Why would anyone like this thing that tastes like nothing except sugar, sugar and more sugar? So sugary that it makes my nerves cringe? Are you kidding me? Just because the cupcake looks ‘cute’ with all its over the top colors, frostings and sprinkles doesn’t mean that it is a culinary treasure. You might as well shovel a sponge along with two pounds of super super refined sugar and a pound of fat into my mouth. And trust me I have gone through all of them. My girlfriends have told me over and over again the reason why I would dislike cupcakes is because I haven’t tried the good ones. Dutifully they go shopping at their favorite cupcake bakeries: “You have to try this one, it’s from Sprinkles, it’s the best!” or “I went over to Joan's on Third. Their cupcakes are so extraordinarily yummy, there is no way you won’t like them”.
STOP, please stop! I am a hopeless case. I do NOT like cupcakes, leave me alone. Actually, I hate them. Their sweetness kills my senses and deprives me of the pleasure of discovering flavors, aromas and savors. I even wonder why they even bother making them in different flavors (peanut butter-chocolate, banana- coconut and more) if they all taste the same. Maybe the cupcake should be renamed into, let me think...., sugarbomb? But of course, there is no way I can say all of this without being publicly executed. To my own rescue I now politely declare whenever offered a cupcake “I am so sorry, but I am allergic to cupcakes.” That usually does the trick.
I was nervously looking over my shoulders at Auntie Em’s while devouring the little red velvet cupcake hoping nobody I know would see me. I would loose all my credibility. A disaster. Especially, since I have to admit that Auntie Em’s cupcakes aren’t too bad. Still way too sugary, at least I could taste a hint of the creamy cheese in the frosting, and that there was a real cake under it with eggs, flour, butter and stuff.
Fact is, I am the ultimate cupcake hater. I probably will never be able to understand the whole cupcake craze. Why would anyone like this thing that tastes like nothing except sugar, sugar and more sugar? So sugary that it makes my nerves cringe? Are you kidding me? Just because the cupcake looks ‘cute’ with all its over the top colors, frostings and sprinkles doesn’t mean that it is a culinary treasure. You might as well shovel a sponge along with two pounds of super super refined sugar and a pound of fat into my mouth. And trust me I have gone through all of them. My girlfriends have told me over and over again the reason why I would dislike cupcakes is because I haven’t tried the good ones. Dutifully they go shopping at their favorite cupcake bakeries: “You have to try this one, it’s from Sprinkles, it’s the best!” or “I went over to Joan's on Third. Their cupcakes are so extraordinarily yummy, there is no way you won’t like them”.
STOP, please stop! I am a hopeless case. I do NOT like cupcakes, leave me alone. Actually, I hate them. Their sweetness kills my senses and deprives me of the pleasure of discovering flavors, aromas and savors. I even wonder why they even bother making them in different flavors (peanut butter-chocolate, banana- coconut and more) if they all taste the same. Maybe the cupcake should be renamed into, let me think...., sugarbomb? But of course, there is no way I can say all of this without being publicly executed. To my own rescue I now politely declare whenever offered a cupcake “I am so sorry, but I am allergic to cupcakes.” That usually does the trick.
I was nervously looking over my shoulders at Auntie Em’s while devouring the little red velvet cupcake hoping nobody I know would see me. I would loose all my credibility. A disaster. Especially, since I have to admit that Auntie Em’s cupcakes aren’t too bad. Still way too sugary, at least I could taste a hint of the creamy cheese in the frosting, and that there was a real cake under it with eggs, flour, butter and stuff.
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